Best Indian Jokes

Indian Prime Minister:    We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
US President: Wow! How many?
Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut.

Funny SantaBanta Jokes

Santa:   So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?
Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother.

A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.
Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.
Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??
Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Girlfriend to Boyfriend:  Now it is time we should marry.
Boyfriend: That's ok, but who will marry us.

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.

English SMS Jokes

Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”

Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall

To be a “Good professional”,
always start to study late for “Exams”.

Silly Jokes

When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....

One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.

When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

What did shivaji say to bruce lee when he met him?
" tu karate main marathe".

Decent Jokes

Six answers given by a GIRL when she is proposed……….

1 Nahi

2 Mujhe waqt chahiye

3 I have always seen u as a friend

4 I already have a boy friend

5 We should concentrate on studies

6 Tum abhi tak mujhe jante kahan ho? Yeh infatuation hai.

Marriage Jokes

  A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am."

SMS Jokes

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?
that's how dogs spend their lives.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

Sardar SMS Jokes

Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now".
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking............

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .

Naughty SMS Messages

 Banta: Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend: Acha wo kaise?
Banta: Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub
mai bhi security guard k sath bethi thi!

 Mother, to her teenage daughter, -
I think its right time, we should talk about sex.
Daughter: Sure mom, what do you want to know?

 Raat ke 2 baje ek admi bahu ke kamre
se nikla aur chala gaya.
Saas ne dekha lekin kuch na boli
Kyu…

Naughty SMS Messages

It’s the thing that satisfies
Your mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
In the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!

God bless your naughty mind!

 When an APPLE becomes red...
.
.
.

It is ready to eat,

When a girl becomes 18 she is ready to..
.
.
.
VOTE...!!

 Last night I went to bed without u.
Cold, thinking of u,
Missing ur warmth,